Saturday, April 15, 2006

Yellow Fever

A few weeks ago I finally got a long-awaited look at the ex-girlfriend of Joel (alias the Professor) this dude I went out with for a short while last year. His ex, Kim, this chick he dated for a few months shortly after he divorced his wife and a few months before he met me, had long been something of an object of fascination for me. She dated the Prof, but also she ended up dating this sorta hot dude that my friend Bonnie had gone on a date with and quite liked. Since Kim had scooped both Bonnie and me (sort of....Prof deemed her worthy of a semi-long relationship, whereas he broke up with me after a few dates, ostensibly because he was "too stressed out over the recent purchase of a new house to handle a relationship") I was anxious to lay eyes on her.

She was kinda scary, actually. Joel had described Kim to me thus: "After my divorce I thought to myself, 'I've got to find me a really thin girl, I want to date someone really thin.' So I started dating Kim. She was really, really thin, and we went out for awhile. But she was too thin, actually." (I know, I know..he's awful. But is he unusual? Really his politics are impeccable..including, on the surface, his gender politics...but you get a glass of wine in 'em, get him really talking about relationships, and crap like this comes spilling out.)

Anyway, Kim.... Clearly she had a pretty bad case of the ol' anorexia, a look I can't say I find particularly appealing, but, worse, she'd had it for quite awhile. Twenty-something Eating-Disorder Girls are one thing. Yeah, they're essentially victims of starvation, but their bodies still retain enough youth, stamina and elasticity that they look emaciated, but not necessarily scary-ass, drug through hell backwards, rode-hard-n-put-away-wet SICK. Eating Disorder Girls in their 30s and above are another thing entirely. They look like they've suffered a long illness, 'cause they have. I think the worst thing about Kim (no, not her REAL name, I'm not THAT huge of a bitch) was her SKIN. Yellow...profoundly yellow, malaria if her body had given up and started breaking her liver down for whatever calories it had to offer. Yellow and loose and dull, like crepe-paper or chicken skin. She also had deep, brown under-eye circles and her hair was long and brittle and dead. (GAH, there's NOTHING worse than really long Eating-Disorder Girl hair, it looks like that wispy shit you see still clinging to the victim's dessicated skull during CSI exhumation scenes.)

Her boyfriend, Greg, was, as promised, quite attractive-tall, athletic...healthy. (According to Joel, it isn't particularly surprising that he's dating Kim, as Greg also tends to go for super-thin women.) get it. A lot of guys like that reed-y Kate Moss thing...but, but, but....even when it means that prematurely-aged, slack and jaundiced skin...the dead, dry cadaver hair, the brittle fingernails, and blue lips, and sunken eyes? Is the thin thing really so wonderful that you lose the ability to SEE that? Is ANY really thin girl automatically attractive? Are TB and radiation sickness patients suddenly hot commodities on the dating market, despite the bloody sputum and missing hair and teeth, because they're so very incredibly thin?

And..honestly. What are we to think about the fact that so many men prefer the women they date to be weak and sick, even if being that sick makes you...well...ugly? It can't be about beauty, when beauty is clearly the first thing to go when you treat your body like that. I'd hate to say that its about power...that intelligent, well-educated, lefty men STILL just want girls who make them feel big and important by being the very embodiment of powerlessness themselves...but what else could it be???
Or maybe the dude that dates underweight women totally gets off on the fact that this whole thing is a performance wherein she constantly proves her devotion to him by denying herself....they go out to dinner, he stuffs his face, and she sits across from him starving and picking at an undressed salad.

It's like the dating equivalent of those people who train their dog to sit there with a dog biscuit balanced on its nose for 15 minutes before giving it the okay to eat.

Except when does she get the okay to eat?


Blogger TDEC said...

God, that's really horrifying...
On a more positive note, none of the attractive/educated men I know are into really thin girls. Similarly, the most romantically sought-after of my female friends are not by any means the thinnest. I can't help believing that men like those you mention get exactly what the deserve - nothing much. Poor girls.

8:59 AM  

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