Monday, March 20, 2006


I had a doctor's appointment today. My primary concern is that I sleep too much. I asked my doctor if there is such a thing as being chronically overslept.

"How much sleep are we talking about here?" she asked me.

"I can sleep 11 hours a night...and sometimes I'll still be up for an afternoon nap," I told her.

"How do you have time to sleep for 11 hours a day?," she asked.

"I don't"

That last question was the best part, I think. If sleeping for 11+ hours a day weren't a problem, I wouldn't be asking her to fix it. It's a little like asking someone "Wow, you have cancer? How do you even find time for that, what with your job and everything?"

My doctor scheduled a blood draw to see if my thyroid's working properly. I'm sure my Thyroid Hormone levels will be fine. That would be far too easy a solution. Probably I have one of those diseases that everyone thinks you're just making shit up when you tell them you have it, like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. That would wicked suck.

My doctor also asked me if I was more depressed than usual. "About the same," I said. Anyway, I don't get sleepy when I'm depressed. I'm what they call an "anxious depressive," I get all brittle and edgy.


Blogger shakha said...

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10:13 AM  
Blogger shakha said...

That's hillarious. How do you have time? Ha.

How much sleep should you get, btw? I've heard that eight hours is really too little. But I don't know. Ask your doctor that the next time you see her. I'm not going to ask mine because he will just say: you're too fat. That's his answer to everything. Am I sleeping too much? You're too fat. What do I do about this burn? You're too fat. You get the picture...

10:14 AM  
Blogger birdfarm said...

Yay, jab is back! LOL on the "how do you have time". I have always lived in terror of having one of those diseases that make people think you're making shit up. Of course, depression also falls into that category, but it has slightly higher name recognition (tho no less career-mutilating capacity).

Shamus, get a new doctor immediately. That is bullshit. "You're too fat" is the correct answer to only two questions: "Why do I have diabetes?" and "Why did the chair break?"

On second thought it's the correct answer to only the first question. The correct answer to the second question is, "It's clearly a cheap piece of shit."

Did we ever tell you about the woman we met in NYC who had chronic ear infections and the doctor told her it was because she was too fat? Turns out she had a hole in her eardrum. Yeah. You actually can't have a fat ear.

Get a new doctor immediately.

12:06 AM  
Blogger astrid jane said...

Gawd, yeah...being fat is like being a smoker. Everyone constantly telling you how bad it is for WE GET IT ALREADY.

Whenever I go to the dentist's they always ask me if I smoke because I get tannin stains on my tooth enamel from drinking a lot of black tea and I guess they look like tobacco stains. I can see them winding up the smoking lecture until I say "no, but I drink a lot of black tea." Then they sort of deflate, like they can't really justify lecturing me for drinking tea. still stains my teeth, so why don't they? Your dentist isn't there to clean your damn lungs, after all... Either way, you bleach out the stains and they go away..... Well, but, you see, smoking is BAD. And if you do it you're BAD too.

9:33 AM  
Blogger AK said...

I second Shamus's question about how much sleep you really "should" get. Because I feel good on 9 hours, crappy on more or less. But most people see my "long" sleep as some kind of moral failing. Like you're not a good person unless you only sleep six hours a night. Screw that. I hated falling asleep in classes.

I can totally sleep 11 hours a night - you're not alone there - but it actually makes me feel more tired (and needing of naps) if I do. I bet if you made yourself cut back to 9 hours, you would actually feel less sleepy. At least that's how it works for me.

9:18 AM  

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