Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Yeah, bitch, that was me at Starbuck's...

I don't understand how Madison, a town with more coffee shops per capita than any other place I've ever lived, still can't manage to scrape together two or three people who can make a drinkable cup of coffee. I probably spend an average of about $6 a week on coffee that ends up tasting like hot, milky ass.... and that I end up, consequently, just throwing out.

Also, before I moved to Madison, I never realized how many different WAYS a cup of coffee could suck. Burned and bitter. Too weak. Burned and bitter AND too weak...my favorite...like drinking really rusty tap water. Sometimes it tastes oddly flat...Reba says that happens when you start with tepid or warm water instead of starting with cold water that is quickly heated. Or sometimes it's the steamed milk that ruins it. That happens when it isn't scalded properly and ends up being sorta...slimy.

In fact, the only consistantly good coffee shop on State Street is Starbucks. Everytime I've bought a cup of coffee there it was actually GOOD. And if you have a problem with me buying coffee at a non-locally owned establishment, you can kiss my ass, Hippy Fucker. ERC? Terrible...probably the most reliably terrible, well next to Fair Trade, anyway (which started out good, but went downhill for some reason.) ERC's coffee is always way too weak (its just tan, hot milk really) while Fair Trade's is generally burned and tastes like the bottom of a utility room sink. Also the ERC closer to the Capital is staffed by hipster assholes who blast music through the stereo system like they're at a Yo Lo Tengo concert and sneer at you if you ask them to turn it down so you can read. Room of One's Own? Terrible. Michelangelo's? Terrible...although Fair Trade and Michelangelo's do have good sandwiches. That leaves Starbucks. Bitch.

3 Comments:

Blogger A+ said...

That's why I drink tea. I can't fool around with all of this coffee consense.

11:14 PM  
Blogger Tom Volscho said...

just put a coffee maker in your office, it will save you money in the long run and you will protest starbucks' business practices

7:44 PM  
Blogger astrid jane said...

Pumpkin, I actually picked someone up in a coffee shop recently, like, for a date. There are more benefits to drinking out than just the coffee. Besides, Social Sciences provides all of the comfort and atmosphere of your average turn of the century TB asylum. I wouldn't spend more time in the building than I absolutely had to even if I did have an office. Which, as it turns out, I don't.

Besides, I can't make coffee either.

10:09 PM  

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