Friday, July 15, 2005

Wonders never cease.....

I just got the "good-morning-I-had-a-lovely-time" email from last night's date. I guess he liked me after all, because he asked me out again.

This was despite the fact that he spent our entire date turned partially away from me on his barstool and giving me the fisheye whenever he absolutely had to glance in my direction. I wouldn't have thought anyone who spent an hour and a half concertedly not looking at me and parrying attempts at conversation in much the same way one does when forced to share a bus seat with a masturbating, un-medicated schizophrenic, would have had any interest whatsoever in a follow-up date, but there you are.... Guess I'm not as adept at reading people as I thought.

For future reference, if you're very socially awkward, but you're trying to find a boyfriend/girlfriend through arranged dates or online personals, bring this handy cheat sheet with you. You can even write it on your forearm...
Step 1. Look at date, try to fix gaze in rough direction of his/her face.
Step 2. Talk (funny anecdotes that relate to the general topic of your conversation, personal stories etc.. are best.)
Step 3. Ask questions and listen. (this is the part where your date engages in Step 2)
Step 4. Once you get good at Steps 1-3, mix it up. Go from 2-3 and then back to 2 again. Try smiling while looking at your date...Once you acquire a certain level of skill you should be able to hold eye contact while talking AND smiling, or listening, nodding AND smiling.

Don't be afraid to practice in front of your bathroom mirror.

10 Comments:

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In truth, you would have been even more turned off had the guy shown up with these instructions written on his forearm.

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Blogger Yoga Korunta said...

Does it occur to the lady that Fish Boy may have no respect for her?

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