Friday, November 12, 2004

Are you deeply ambivalent about sex? Well, come date me.

Something that's interesting about me is that no one I date ever wants to have sex with me. Some people knit or have distinctive baritone singing voices or speak many languages. I can psychologically castrate just about anybody merely by showing them my naked body. The effect may, moreover, be totally irreversible.

I used to think that this was because I tended to get into lesbian relationships....lesbians are Olympic League sex withholders. Really. Lesbians dole out sex like Republicans give bus money to panhandlers....grudgingly, infrequently, and with the exortation to 'learn how to start doing for yourself one of these days.'

Then I dated a few straight men. The result? Identical.

Yeah, it's me.


Blogger dorotha said...

how many times have i offered to have sex with you? and how many times have you taken me up on it?

listen: it isn't you, it's me. it's everybody. you are a total hottie.

2:39 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home