Sunday, July 18, 2004

Keen anthropological observations, Vol 2

More stuff I've learned in Germany
1. Apparently in Germany a fire alarm is just some random guy walking through the building blowing an air horn in people's faces. This happened at my school here the other day. I just stared at him until someone else came up to me and yelled "HALLO! Das ist Fire Alarm Drill!" and then gave me this look like I was retarded. And I wanted to say, "No, 'retarded' would be running through a burning building blowing a horn while the ceiling is falling on your head in flaming chunks. Haven't you assholes ever heard of an automated alarm system? They aren't that complicated to install, I seem to recall my elementary school even had one. Maybe I could give you their number and you could call them and ask them where they got it."
2. Germans are less shy about their bodies. For instance, they like sunbathing nude. On sunny, warm days (of which there have been very few, actually) Berlin's Tiergarten Park in the center of the city becomes a veritable sea of stippled, soft pink Teutonic flesh. Like great, blockish sea creatures spread out at the water's edge, they are. Great blockish sea creatures wearing Teva's with socks. Hey, they have no shame.
3. Georg, this super cute German guy that I met last year in Madison and hang out with here sometimes said that when he was in America last year he met some other German guys. He said their favorite game used to involve going over to this one person's house who had a Jacuzzi, piling into it together, and playing Das Boot. I am SO not making this up. He said this girl who was into him got all upset over this and told him she thought he was gay. I'm thinking, 'well, yeah, most grown men don't spend a lot of time sitting in the bathtub with each other and playing submarine unless they're gay, and even then.' Also, I realized that all of Americans' lurking suspicions about Germans in general can probably be encapsulated in, and verified by, the idea that they're all sitting in a hot tub together somewhere playing Das Boot


Blogger sep said...

Welcome! Yay! Again, laughing so hard at your stories that I'm falling off my chair. Thanks for cheering me up!


10:48 AM  

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